Beauty is in the Eye of the Giant Swamp Monster
by loofahlover
Summary: A One Piece retelling of Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Chapter 10: "I'm so sorry! Is Zoro ok! Did I hit your stab wound?" "No, no; I think that got healed after the sparkly transformation…thing. Your punch is just stronger than I expected."
1. Chapter 1

Pairing: Zoro x Luffy

Genre: Parody/Romance

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. Or Beauty and the Beast. Please don't sue me, Disney.

Warnings: swearing, cursing (no, the other kind).

A/N: The first of my 10-chapter retelling of Beauty and the Beast. Barring any misfortune or life-threatening accidents, I will post every day until it's done.

* * *

_Once upon a time, in a faraway land,  
A young Prince lived in a shining castle._

The eleven-year-old Zoro stares out from the lookout tower. "This place…is too fucking bright."

Perona, his ghost of an older sister, floats nearby and sighs loudly. "I KNOW! This castle is so squeaky clean, it's depressing. It needs more gargoyles. And pointy towers. And spikes! Lots of spikes!"

Zoro surveys the landscape in silent agreement. Too many trees, too many twittering birds.

"Who taught you how to swear like that, anyway?"

"Dad."

A gloom falls over them at the mention of Mihawk.

* * *

_But then, one winter's night, an old beggar-woman came to the castle, and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. _

"I don't need any stupid flowers. But fine, just come in."

"Zoro, who's that?" Perona floats down from the ceiling, curious.

"Just some old beggar lady."

"…What did you call me, brat? For your information, I'm only 141 years old!"

"The hell? That's ancient!"

"How dare you!"

The old, tottering hag transforms before the siblings' eyes into a voluptuous figure. Her gray hair flows into a wave of ebony, and her wide eyes are the color of a stormy sea.

"How dare you…how dare you call ME, the most beautiful woman in the world, ancient?!"

_The Prince tried to apologize, but it was too late. _

"Ok, I'm sorr-"

The enchantress sends a bolt of pure energy straight into Zoro's chest. The force is so great, that Zoro is sent tumbling across the floor, and the woman's head bends so far back that only her chin remains visible.

Perona furiously sends her ghost army forward. But the enchantress has already straightened up. She blows a kiss at the ghosts, and they turn into stone, falling to the ground with a shatter.

Perona shrieks. "How is that even possible?!"

"What…" Zoro stares into his now-hairy paws. "What have you done to me?"

* * *

_As punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. _

"Cheer up, Zoro! At least the castle looks better now."

"Hmph."

"And it's not like you enjoyed meeting new people in the first place. Now, your disgusting mug can scare away anyone who tries to barge into the castle!"

"Hmph."

Perona floats down, hovering her arms over Zoro's shoulder in an air embrace. "I'm still here, and so are you. And Dad's still watching over you from the graveyard. Nothing's changed."

"I know."

But he doesn't meet her eyes.

* * *

_The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year.  
If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return, by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. _

_As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a Beast?_


	2. Chapter 2

_Miles away, in a sleepy little town, there lived a beauty rivaling that of the enchantress. Lush, dark-brown locks. Clear, chocolate-brown eyes. A heart-shaped face. A thin body with the slightest hint of curves. And the name of this beauty was:_

"Belle, my sweet! It is by the angels' mercy that this pitiful servant has the opportunity to gaze upon your heavenly visage!"

"Don't know where you got that idea, you weirdo, but my name is Luffy; comes from Rufus, my father's name." The pixie-like boy glares at Gaston, the most ridiculously popular man in the town.

"Sounds like a date! I'll take you to the Baratie, the finest restaurant in this backwater little village. What time, my lovely Belle?"

"You're taking me to eat? Awesome! How about after I feed the chickens MY NAME IS LUFFY AND I'M A GUY DAMMIT!"

"Mellorine~" Gaston sails into the air with the force of Luffy's punt, his horde of fangirls fluttering after him.

* * *

_The beauty was known in the village to be an odd one, his nose constantly buried in a book. He lived with his eccentric inventor of a father on the outskirts of the town._

* * *

"Gramps, I'm back!"

"Luffy!" Garp lifts up his oil-stained goggles. "You're back! And don't call me that. I'm your father."

"But you told me my dad was a drunk sailor."

"When did I ever tell you that?"

"Last night."

"Oh right." The old man vaguely remembers mentioning that while he was distracted by his automatic wood-chopping machine. "Bwahaha! Just forget I said that, ok?"

"But you're too old to be my father."

"Oh really?" The old man blows on his giant, muscular fist. "Then it seems you need some convincing, brat."

Luffy gulps. "You know, Father, you're looking very dashing all of a sudden."

"Of course. I always look dashing, bwahahahaha!"

* * *

_The inventor packed up his machine to take to the science fair in the next town, leaving the child at home._

* * *

"But whyyy can't I go with you?"

Damn puppy eyes, Garp thinks. Must take after his mother. Whoever she is.

"Luffy…" The old man solemnly places his hands on those thin shoulders. "If you behave, I'll bring back cotton candy."

Luffy lights up. "And hot dogs."

"And turkey legs."

"Deal."

* * *

_The old man tried to take a shortcut through the woods, but lost his horse and was chased after by the beasts of the forest._

* * *

"Thank god that foolish boy didn't come with me. Don't think I forgot the last science fair we went to. Surrounding that adorable child with thirty-year-old geeks who probably haven't held a girl's hand their entire life? It's like tossing a lamb into a pack of wolves."

"Speaking of wolves…" He surveys the starving animals that have formed a loose circle around him, picking up a stray branch from the ground. "You know the saying, speak softly and carry a big stick?"

He charges at the alpha wolf, brandishing the stick over his head. "WELL I NEVER SPEAK SOFTLY, YA BASTARDS!"

(one thorough beatdown later)

"Whew. Almost got me there. Guess my old muscles aren't used to this kind of exercise, what with all my inventin'. Now just how do I get into this depressing castle?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Phillipe, the family horse, fled back home without his rider. In a state of panic, the beauty begged the horse to take him to his father._

* * *

"Geez, another guy?" Perona watches the second traveler in years, let alone this evening, wander through the castle. Never mind that the guy was kinda cute. She needed some kind of fair maiden to fall in love with her whiny, mopey brother already!

* * *

_He explored the castle, wandering through halls and winding stairs before he reached his father. His father begged him to flee, but it was too late. The beauty was discovered by the beast. He pleaded for the monster to let his father go, but the Beast refused, saying that the old man was his prisoner. So he made an offer: to take him instead._

* * *

Zoro turns around, wincing from the various injuries he'd accumulated from dealing with the old man. He expects to see the young man look horrified, attempting to take back his words.

But he doesn't. Only teary eyes, full of worry and desperation.

* * *

_"__You would…take his place?"_

_"__If I did," the beauty asks, "Would you let him go?"_

_"__Yes, but…you must promise to stay here forever."_

_The beauty is stuck with a sudden thought. "Show me your face."_

_And the beast steps into the weak light streaming through the tower._

* * *

Luffy is struck speechless. He gapes openly at that monsters with the face of the Devil, the body of a lion, and the hue of a verdant forest. Is he…a swamp monster?

"Luffy, you little brat! Don't you-"

Luffy is brought back to reality by his grandfather's weakened objections and a round of hacking coughs.

* * *

_He tells the Beast, "You have my word," and falls to the ground in despair._

_The old man is forcefully taken from the castle and returned home, alone. The beast shows the beauty to his quarters, who doesn't speak a word on the way. After the beast slams the door closed, the beauty collapses onto the bed in tears._

* * *

"Well, this is unexpected."

Zoro ignores his sister, broodily staring into the fireplace.

"So first, you lock a poor, ailing old traveler into the dungeons."

"I didn't have a choice," Zoro mutters, rubbing the bruises on his arm. "It was that, or let the old man tear my head off."

"Aww, is the big scary beast afraid of the little old man?"

Zoro turns his lips in a way that almost looks like a pout. "And where were you, anyway?"

"Peeking from the ceiling, as usual. Not like you would have been grateful if I ever interfered in your fight."

Zoro turns away. Not like he could argue against that.

"So now the old man's gone." Perona places her translucent hands over the bruises. The otherworldly chill is a relief to the pain, though Zoro would never admit it. "Why are you keeping that kid instead? And don't tell me you didn't have a choice this time."

"I didn't mean to. I just," Zoro hesitates. "There was just something about him. I didn't think humans could be that selfless."

Perona grins knowingly. "I get it. You wanted to call his bluff."

"Yeah, that. But afterwards, I couldn't just say I wasn't being serious. I felt like it would be disrespectful." Zoro sighs. "Idiot."

"What did you just call me?!"

"Not you. Me. I'm sending him home after dinner."

* * *

Luffy's curled into a tiny ball against the headboard of his new bed. Ugh, that was right. This was his room now. No more unsteady towers of book surrounding his thin mattress. No more waking up to explosions and hoarse cursing. No more freedom. The thought brings new tears to his eyes, and he huddles even closer.

He twitches at the sound of booming knocks against the door.

* * *

_The beast speaks with calculated politeness. "Will you come down to dinner?"_

* * *

Amazing. With all this chaos, Luffy had completely forgotten that he was hungry. He ponders his options.

He doesn't want to have anything to do with that beast right now.

But he's hungry.

He doesn't want to be reminded that he's a prisoner in this castle.

But he's really hungry.

He wishes he were home.

He also wishes for food right about now.

What to do…

A loud gurgle erupts. He angrily pokes at his belly. The traitor.

"Fine," he calls out. In any case, it was hard to wallow on an empty stomach.


	4. Chapter 4

Zoro is used to the silence, the solitude of eating alone in the immense castle. Yet ironically, with another person dining at the table, the air just seems even more oppressive.

The silverware is almost too loud, the sound of scraping and tapping harsh against the ears. Zoro's guest has been making a determined effort not to look up. It's to the point that Zoro needs something, anything to break up this uncomfortable atmosphere.

"You know, I haven't always lived here."

The boy looks surprised that Zoro said something. Zoro feels the exact same way. Where did that come from?

"Mihawk, that's my dad, originally ruled over a small kingdom. But after my uncle Donquixote took control of Spain, he got paranoid that Mihawk would kill him in his sleep. Fucking coward. If Mihawk did ever want the throne, he'd have challenged the king to a proper duel. Anyway, the three of us ended up fleeing the country."

"…Three?"

Zoro starts; he wasn't expecting some kind of reply. He rambles on, his words convoluted and panicked. He empties out ten years' worth of one-sided conversations. "Yeah. Myself, Mihawk, and Perona; that's my older sister. Actually, she died when she was 16; got burnt at the stake during the witch hunts, but she came back as a ghost, so those damn villagers might have actually been onto something. And my dad died a while back. Surprised the both of us. One morning, he's complaining that he got bitten by some animal in his sleep. Next thing you know, just, BAM."

An even more awkward silence follows.

"Sorry about that."

Zoro stabs at his steak uselessly. "For what. There's nothing for you to apologize about." He finally just stuffs the whole thing into his mouth.

"…Guess not."

They pick at their plates a bit longer.

"So…your sister's a ghost."

Zoro wants to take it all back. Restart that whole monologue with a less horribly awkward topic. Like silverware. "Yeah."

"That's kinda cool."

"Really?!" Perona's head pops up in the middle of Luffy's plate, and he falls over his chair with a shriek.  
"Oops. Sorry about that, little man."

"You…almost gave me a heart attack!" But Luffy starts laughing breathlessly.

"I said I was sorry! Geez." She crosses her legs and rests on the table. "I'm Perona. That hideous idiot over there is Zoro. And you are?"

"Luffy."

"Really? You look more like a Belle."

"Ugh." Luffy's cute smile turns into an even cuter scowl. "Not you too."

Zoro feels a spike of irritation_. You too?_ Just who else had been calling Luffy by that name?

Perona gasps. "We should play dress-up! Oo, the gowns and petticoats I have! Zoro NEVER wants to play with me!"

The silent despair on Luffy's face makes Zoro's heart thump noisily. He stands up. "After dinner, he should go…"

Home. That word is fighting against his throat, trying to break free.

"To bed. He's had a long day."

Perona doesn't call his slip of the tongue. Just 'horo-horo's' away triumphantly.


	5. Chapter 5

_After dinner, the servants try to lead their guest back to his bedroom, but he finds himself wandering in a different direction…_

* * *

"Weird; where did that talking clock go? Ah well. Let's see…Which way is the east wing? Left or right? The sun's already set, so I can't use that. But on a compass, west is left, and east is right, so…"

Luffy walks assuredly up the right staircase.

Toward the West Wing.

* * *

_The beauty enters a room that appears to be ransacked. Broken pieces of furniture litter the floor. On the far-side of the room hangs a portrait, having been done in the likeness of the Prince once he came of age. The fabric of the canvas has been violently ripped across by claw marks._

* * *

"That Zoro guy's torn this room to the ground," Luffy muses aloud. And as his thoughts return to the strange creature, he can't help but furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"I'm the one who's the prisoner here. And yet, Zoro's the one who seems miserable. Well, with only his dead sister and some animated objects for company, he's got to be pretty lonely. Not that I'm one to talk." My only friends consist of a handful of animals and the local librarian, Luffy grimaces.

Luffy stares at the ruined portrait, something tickling at his memory. "Zoro's sister is human. Does that mean he is- was human too? Then why does he look so…" Luffy struggles to come up with a diplomatic answer. "Hairy?"

Luffy smiles faintly. "Maybe being stuck here won't be so bad. At least I won't be bored. This place has so many mysteries to uncover. Besides, Zoro's not such a bad guy, when he's not yelling his face off."

* * *

_A faint glow captures his attention. A magnificent rose floats atop a table, the only intact thing in the entire room. The beauty drifts toward the flower, helpless against its gravity. He finds himself removing the glass lid, stretching out a hand to touch those delicate petals…_

_And the beast descends upon him, quickly trapping the rose under the glass case._

_"__Why did you come here."_

_The beauty stutters, backing away. "I…I'm sorry."_

_"__Get out," The beast snarls._

* * *

Of what, Luffy wants to ask. The room? The West Wing? The castle? Luffy could read that look of pure anger like the script of a tragic play. He could feel the figurative doors slam between the two, with Zoro's feelings tightly resealed behind it. If there had ever been a chance of getting closer to Zoro, it was gone. He had stumbled onto some private and painful secret of Zoro's, and he would never be forgiven for it.

And so Luffy leaves, just as Zoro had wanted. His legs move on their own, carrying him back to his room for his cloak, then down the grand staircase that he had been ascending just a few minutes ago. It was very strange. He was free to go now, that much was clear. And yet he wasn't feeling quite as ecstatic and he expected himself to. Was it the fact that he was saying farewell to such an interesting place and returning to his boring daily life? Or was it because he felt some kind of kinship toward that beast, who sad eyes seemed to say that he was just as much a prisoner of this castle as Luffy had been? He shakes his head. Why bother thinking about it now?

"Hey, you!" Perona follows Luffy as he rushes toward the door. "You can't be seriously thinking about going out in that snowstorm, are you? You'll freeze to death!"

"Zoro decided it," Luffy mumbles on his way out, "Not me."

* * *

_"__Promise or no promise, I can't stay here another minute."_

_He leaves the castle, letting his horse navigate home. He fights through the snowy winds, but like his father before him, he finds himself attacked by wolves. He picks up a stick, trying to wave out a barrier for him and Phillipe._

* * *

Well, Luffy decides as he grits his teeth, if I'm going to die tonight, I'm going down fighting.

He brings down his flimsy weapon with as much force as he can muster. Swiping a jaw, intercepting a furry chest, dodging jagged claws. As soon as he's bitten, he kicks off the offending animal with a heavy pant. He can make out a roar in the background, like a tunnel of wind. Eventually, the animals pile over him, pressing down and biting what feels like every inch of his body. He's being smothered to death; the energy slowly drains from him, and his limbs stop struggling.

Then, he suddenly feels lighter. The darkness opens up to a forest of white, and something large and mossy hovers over him. Right before he passes out, he registers a pair of piercing green eyes.

...

When Luffy comes to, it's painful and hot and dizzying.

"Are you all right?"

Where is he? He see a cavernous ceiling. Ah. This must be the castle's living room. He sees the anthropomorphic objects of the castle shaking against the walls in fear, some holding gauze and others bloody tatters of clothing. He raises his arm with difficulty; it's covered with red-tinted bandages. So is the rest of his body, apparently, as he lifts up the heavy blanket covering him. His gaze feverishly wanders over the sofa, where a ghost girl is worriedly gazing at him, and finally rests on the elephant in the room. No, more like the big, green monster in the room. Who's hovering next to the sofa with heartbreaking anguish in his eyes. Geez, how had he ever considered Zoro scary? The guy looked like a big, green puppy right now. Luffy lets out a breathy giggle.

"…Something funny?" Zoro tries to grin. Luffy just lets his head flop from side to side in disagreement.

* * *

_"__Thank you…for saving my life."_

* * *

"No," Zoro growls. "I was angry…and I chased you away. **I almost killed you.**" His hand hovers over the other's weakened body, but he chooses to rest it on the edge of the sofa. "I won't let it happen again. I swear it on my life."

Luffy rests his hand on Zoro's disproportionately huge paws. He can feel them twitch in surprise. "Silly Zoro. I'm fine."

Zoro's mouth hangs open slightly. "…That's the first time you called me by name."

"Is it?" Luffy doesn't bother hiding a wide yawn.

"You should go back to sleep. You're exhausted."

But Luffy isn't done yet. "Will you stay?"

Zoro's voice comes out in a hoarse whisper. "If you want me to."

Luffy's answer is a hint of a smile as he drifts off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: These next two chapters are kind of my favorites because they're songfics.**

* * *

Luffy is bedridden with a fever for two days, which is an ordeal for all the inhabitants of the castle. Luffy constantly whines that he's well enough to leave, and eventually his furniture is forced to tie him down. Zoro paces up and down the entire castle, trying to avoid the guest room to give Luffy some peace and quiet; a valiant but pointless gesture, since Luffy can easily hear Zoro's thunderous steps echo through the halls. Perona finds great pleasure in teasing the two boys. She repeatedly reminds Zoro about her being able to peek in on Luffy, or relays fake messages from the sick boy. Once, she teases Luffy about playing dress-up, since he's tied down and can't resist. She quickly stops this when Luffy starts yelling and reopening his wounds, then Zoro tears down the door in distress. The servants run around day and night, doing damage control.

Finally, on the third day after that snowy night, Luffy is well enough to join Zoro for breakfast.

* * *

_There's something sweet, and almost kind  
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined_

* * *

Zoro pours the entire tureen of oatmeal down his throat.

He feels a draft of cold sensation. Perona's elbowing him on the side with a look that clearly screams: table manners, dear brother?

He lifts his paw disbelievingly. How, dear sister?

They both turn their heads at the sound of a loud slurp. Luffy looks up from the last of his own oatmeal. "What?" He wipes a gray streak onto his finely embroidered sleeve, clothes courtesy of Perona.

Zoro barks out a laugh.

* * *

_But now he's dear, and so unsure  
I wonder why I didn't see it there before_

* * *

"It's like you're a birdhouse!"

Zoro grimaces, covered head-to-toe with birds. That was the last time he let Luffy scatter the birdseed.

"Only until they start shitting on me again."

A cheerful laugh, like a string of bells wavering in the spring breeze. Luffy holds out his hand and lets a cardinal perch on his finger. "It's their instincts. They must be able to tell you mean no harm."

* * *

_He glanced this way, I thought I saw  
And when we touched he didn't shudder at my paw_

* * *

"And you?"

Luffy looks up. "Hm?"

"I thought you were afraid of me."

"I was. I thought you were some giant monster that had crawled out of the swamp."

Zoro sputters. "A swamp?!"

"Yeah. Hey, can I touch your fur?" Luffy doesn't wait for an answer. Just enthusiastically runs his hand through Zoro's mane.

"Wow. It really is green."

* * *

_No it can't be, I'll just ignore  
But then he's never looked at me that way before_

* * *

A bewildering heat spreads across Zoro's face. He's almost certain it can show through his fur, and he tries to brush off his embarrassment gruffly. "I'm not a pet, dammit."

Luffy giggles. "No, I guess you're not."

And as Luffy disentangles his hand to chase after a robin, Zoro wishes he hadn't said anything, because now his mane is feeling rather empty.

* * *

_New and a bit alarming  
Who'd have ever thought that this could be?_

* * *

Perona floats with the winter breeze, a sigh escaping her lips. _Men._

The northern courtyard had been completely demolished by the epic snowball fight. The statues had been shattered into granite chunks, the shrubbery pockmarked with fragments of snow. The grounds were dotted with snowballs, ranging from the size of a fist to a large dog, and now lumpy as the morning's oatmeal. She knew that Zoro was capable of destroying the entire castle, given enough snowballs. But to think that gangly kid also had such monstrous strength. They really were a perfect match for each other.

Perona gasps, her airy body tensing. She looks at the two, lazily making snow angels that seemed to be touching at the wingtips.

Screw fair maidens.

Luffy could be what they'd been looking for all along.

* * *

_True that he's no Prince Charming  
But there's something in him that I simply didn't see_

* * *

Like many times in the past two days, Zoro almost regrets being so uncharacteristically indulgent toward his guest.

"King Arthur, the tenth edition? Amazing; they only circulated 100 copies!"

"GET DOWN HERE BEFORE YOU BREAK YOUR NECK!"

Luffy ignores the loud roar, gleefully sliding the twenty-foot ladder across the shelves of his new library. He adds book after book to the precariously balanced stack against his right arm. Meanwhile, Zoro hovers below him nervously with arms outstretched.

"I've never read this one before. One Piece? What's it abou- Wah!"

Luffy leans a bit too far off the ladder and finds his vision spinning, turning upside down and-

He lands in Zoro's arms, with books scattered lopsidedly at their feet and The Legends of King Arthur laying atop Zoro's displeased head.

"I told you to be more-"

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I love this library and all these books and you and this castle and THIS IS AMAZING!" Luffy gives the monster a spine-crushing hug with trembling excitement.

_Love. He loves Zoro_. Zoro's mind knows the other man was probably just swept up by enthusiasm. Yet his arms involuntarily tightens around the slender, warm body.

He feels a surge of emotion, like nothing he's quite felt or been able to express before. The words tumble out before he can stop them. "Books. They do something that nothing else quite manages."

"Do what?" A muffled reply.

* * *

_"__Take me away from this place, make me forget for a little while."  
"Forget?"  
"Who I...What I am..."  
"…We have something in common, you know."  
"What is that?"  
"In the town where I come from, the people think I'm odd."  
"You?"  
"So, I know how it feels to be...different. And I know how lonely that can be."_

* * *

Zoro tightens their embrace.

He almost, but never quite manages to regret.

* * *

**A/N: That last bit really did come from the movie. It was in a deleted scene.**


	7. Chapter 7

_Tale as old as time_

_True as it can be_

_Barely even friends_

_Then somebody bends_

_Unexpectedly_

* * *

"I don't know." Luffy tugs at his new jacket reluctantly. "Gold is kind of a girly color."

"Just be thankful I gave you a tailcoat and vest instead of one of my many ballgowns. Though if you ever change your mind…"

"Nonono! ThisisawesomeIlovethisthanksPerona!"

"Hmph." Perona sighs at the lost opportunity. "Of course it is. Now turn around, Zoro, and tell me what you think."

"Finally," Zoro grumbles as he stares at Luffy. And stares. And the words just tumble out. "You're beautiful."

"I'm a man, dammit," Luffy pouts. But his blush betrays him as the two men walk down the grand staircase.

* * *

_Just a little change_

_Small to say the least_

_Both a little scared,_

_Neither one prepared,_

_Beauty and the beast_

* * *

It's immediately clear that Luffy, having lived his life in and out of books, has never bothered to learn how to dance. He steps the exactly opposite direction of where Zoro steps, alternating between tripping over his own feet and stomping on his partner's. Zoro's lion-like hind legs are relatively impervious to damage, so when he gives up and tells Luffy to just stand on his feet, it's more from exasperation than the physical pain.

* * *

_Ever just the same_  
_Ever a surprise_  
_Ever as before_  
_Ever just as sure_  
_As the sun will rise_

* * *

Perona feels her tears rising. She shakes her head furiously; it must be the glare from that ridiculously huge chandelier. Luffy and Zoro awkwardly make their way across the dance floor. The sight of them eases the old knots of hurt that she's hidden deep inside her transparent body, conjuring up memories without their usual sadness.

Her father twirls her around the hotel room, her shiny black heels atop his worn leather boots. Her baby brother watches them with open interest, quietly humming with their father. Mihawk has a faint smile, and she's laughing and laughing with glee.

* * *

_Tale as old as time_  
_Tune as old as song_  
_Bittersweet and strange_  
_Finding you can change_  
_Learning you were wrong_

* * *

"Is it hard? Being a monster."

Monster. A word that Zoro's loathed his entire life. But it's spoken with no disgust, no disdain. Just point-blank curiosity. So only the faintest trace of hurt remains. "I guess. Looking back, it could have been a lot worse."

Zoro stares into those chocolate-brown eyes that seem to suck him into their depths. "It was a bad period in my life. Being on the run. Losing my sister. Losing my dad. Being told that I was a monster. Knowing that no one could ever…love a monster like me. It made for a lot of negative thoughts."

"You have shitty luck."

Zoro chuckles at the blunt honesty. "Yeah. But honestly, it's not that bad. Having Perona around saved me. When she wasn't driving me up the walls."

Luffy smiles forlornly. "What do you miss the most?"

Zoro ponders this a bit, calmed by the sway of their clumsy waltz. "Being around people, aside from Perona, I guess. It's weird. The three of us had always tried staying away from crowds when we traveled. We were all misanthropes, to some degree. But after ten years, what I would give to make my way down to a village, to not have to worry about how people would react."

"It could happen." Luffy looks at the dark windows. "Let's do it. I'll disguise you as…a hay bale."

Zoro snorts. "A hay bale?"

Luffy nods, his voice quickening. "A really large one. We'd have to wait until the fall, otherwise it would seem weird. But we could sneak you into the village square at night. I'll pretend to be a hay merchant."

A thrill ripples through Zoro. At the word 'we'. At the suggestion that Luffy would still be here next year.

"I wish at least one good thing could happen to Zoro."

Zoro's mouth moves instinctively. "But it already has."

"Really?"

Zoro stops moving. "I met you."

Luffy's eyes glitter with the refracted light of the chandelier. "And that makes you happy?"

"Yeah. You do."

Luffy's head ducks back down, his cheeks rosy. "Good," he whispers.

* * *

_Certain as the sun_  
_Rising in the east_

_Tale as old as time_  
_Song as old as rhyme_  
_Beauty and the beast_


	8. Chapter 8

_The beast and the beauty find themselves against the balcony, taking a rest from their dancing._

* * *

"What's wrong?"

Luffy tries to smile. Zoro always seemed to read him like a book. "Me? I'm fine. Everything here is perfect." He tries to look beyond the snow-dusted pine trees. "I'm just worried about my Gramps. Last time I saw him, he was coughing pretty bad, and he's never gotten sick."

Zoro can feel the pain on Luffy's face clutching at his own heart. He urgently takes the smaller hand in his grasp, pulling Luffy back toward the castle.

"There's a way you can see him again."

"Really?!"

* * *

_The beast showed the beauty his enchanted mirror, which could allow the user to see anyone or anything they asked for. The beauty gasped when he saw his father, crouched on the ground and buffeted by the heavy snowfall._

* * *

"No." Luffy gasped. "I have to go to him, but…" He looks beseechingly at Zoro.

And Zoro sighs, resigned. If there's anything he's learned these past few days, it's that he can never say no to Luffy. "Just go."

"But. Our promise."

Our. One of the many words Zoro would never hear again; at least from those lips. "I never had any right to keep you here. Just go. Your father needs you."

When Luffy still doesn't move, Zoro adds, "Take care of him. Like how I wish I could have taken care of mine."

Luffy drops his head, staring at Zoro's feet. "That's not fair," he mumbles.

"I'm a monster, remember? I don't play fair."

"Yeah, but you're the good kind."

Zoro's arms automatically open up to catch Luffy catapulting forward. One more hug for the road. Then it would all be over. He wishes briefly that he were the bad kind of monster. The kind who would keep people like Luffy locked in their dungeon for life, never to leave.

* * *

_The beauty rushed back to his village. After he found his father buried underneath a heavy layer of snow, he brought him back to their home and nursed him back to consciousness._

* * *

Garp slowly roused from his slumber with a groan.

"You're awake!"

"Luffy…" He gripped the child's hands. "You're safe! How did you manage to escape that hairy beast?"

"What, Zoro? He just let me leave when I found out that you were sick. What about you? You scared me, you know."

The old inventor looks into those eyes filled with obvious worry. Luffy seemed to be wearing a few bandages…but then, the boy was always getting himself into trouble. "That beast…he didn't hurt you?"

Luffy shook his head adamantly.

* * *

_"__I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle."_

* * *

"Pft. That huge thing; gentle?" The old man's smirk fades. "Then I may have done something foolish."

"What is it?"

"After I got back, I went to all the local taverns, trying to round up some men to storm the castle and take you back."

Luffy feels his stomach clench painfully.

"Didn't really work out at first. I had people calling me a 'crazy old man' when I tried to talk to them, then a 'homicidal old lunatic' when I tried knocking some sense into them. Finally found one that would listen to me. You know the weirdo who's always trying to woo you?"

"…Ugh. You don't mean Gaston, do you?"

"Yeah, that one. Personally, I also think there's something wrong with the boy. Anyway, he got really hotheaded as soon as I mentioned your name. Started raising hell and leading all the men toward the castle. I tried to follow, but my damn old body started acting up on me."

Garp thumped against his chest in a show of frustration, only to start coughing fitfully again.

As Luffy patted the old man's back, he begins to realize the horror of the situation.

Gaston…

Mob of people…

Castle…

Zoro!

"I have to go back."

Coughing one last time, Garp warily watches Luffy put his cloak back on. "Wait."

Luffy turns around. "You'll be ok here, won't you?"

"Don't you sass me, boy. I'm more than capable of lying in a bed and sleeping." He leans forward slightly. "Just what is that beast to you?"

"Zoro? He's…" Just what was he, Luffy ponders. He had stopped being a mere captor a long time ago. "He's my friend. And he's really nice. Even though he tries not to be obvious about it. And I feel like we just go together, like a good book and hot cocoa…He's important to me."

Luffy shakes his head, donning his hood. "I don't really get it myself. But I feel like I'll know the next time I see him."

He leaves, gently closing the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

Zoro stares at the rose heavily. This is the right thing to do, isn't it? Returning to his solitude, resigning himself to his curse…it was payment enough if Luffy could be happy. Besides, why had he bothered hoping in the first place? Because Luffy had smiled in his direction? Because he'd offhandedly said the word 'love'? Zoro finally notices the presence at his door. "What are you for? To loot the castle? Or to take my head?"

Gaston steps out from the shadows. "I am here… for love."

Love? Join the crowd, Zoro thinks with a tired huff.

"I am here to rescue the fair Belle."

"Belle? Who the hell are you talking about?" It couldn't be…

"Don't play coy with me, you miserable beast. The fairest maiden in all the land! Brown hair, dark eyes, slender like a flower."

Huh. That sounded quite vaguely like…

"Small scar under her left eye."

Zoro takes his time turning around. "That…is a guy."

"Lies! I will not have you dragging the fair maiden's name through the mud any longer!"

"…You know, I've made it my policy to leave humans alone." Zoro unsheathes his claws. "But there's just something about your pompous shit that I can't stand."

"Likewise. I don't think I can last another minute breathing in the same air as your disgusting, beastly self."

They stare each other down, eyes filled with different kinds of animosity. Gaston is the first to move, a polished boot soaring toward Zoro's chest. Zoro finds his instincts half a second slow, and he's sent crashing through the window and tumbling down the roof. He finally stops when he falls heavily onto a balcony below. He barely has time to right himself before Gaston kicks down on the ground where his head had been, leaving behind a small crater.

* * *

_"__Were you in love with her, Beast?" Gaston cruelly taunts. "Did you honestly think she'd want you, when she had someone like me?"_

* * *

"Shut. Up." Zoro swipes at the man with his paws, but Gaston dances away. The beast narrowly avoids each new kick, before he's swiped across his left eye with a hidden knife. He clutches against his face, growling at his opponent. What was wrong with him? His body was sluggish; hesitant, even. It's like he didn't want to hurt this man, which definitely wasn't the case.

No.

It was more like he couldn't drum up the urge to even defend himself, let alone fight. Zoro barely registers the intruder break off a stone spire, wielding it like a club.

Gods, he was being pathetic. If Luffy could see him now…

* * *

_"__No!"_

* * *

That voice.

* * *

_The beauty had returned on his horse, and was quickly re-entering the castle._

_The beast whirls around, just in time to grab the stone club. He feels the brittle material crack underneath his sharp claws._

* * *

Zoro curls his lips into a feral smirk. Much better.

* * *

_The beauty quickly ascends the castle, his thoughts chasing after the one he's come to care for, the one whose life is in danger._

* * *

For the first time ever, Zoro is grateful for his monstrous body. If he had human flesh, he might not have survived the attacks that this asshole was raining down on him.

They circle around each other, trading blow for blow and claw for kick. After the umpteenth kick, the balcony collapses, so Gaston and Zoro leap to the roof above, rushing toward each other while aiming to knock the other off the building for good.

Luffy finally makes it to the balcony of a higher tower. "ZORO!"

The two fighters look up, one with hearts in his eyes and one with rising hope.

"My Belle!" Gaston manages to make a pirouette as he balances precariously along a shingle. "Has your angelic face come to gaze lovingly upon your champion who has set to vanquish the disgusting beast- OOF!" Zoro's fist collides into his face, and he falls haphazardly onto the slippery roof, sliding down until his shirt catches on a broken tile.

* * *

_The beast slowly climbs up the roof, scarcely able to believe the sight before him. He reaches the balcony, his large hand cupping the beauty's face._

_"__You came back," he breathes._

_The beauty says nothing, only placing his own hands over the beast's and reciprocating that adoring gaze with his own._

* * *

Zoro suddenly jerks. He looks down to see the tip of a blade protruding through the center of his chest.

* * *

_Gaston grins triumphantly. He pulls the knife out with ease and sets himself to make another stab, but loses his balance. His falls down into the ravine below, screaming the entire way._

_The beauty pulls at the beast's clothing. With some difficulty, he manages to maneuver the beast onto the floor of the balcony. Terror slowly seeps into the beauty's heart as he watches the beast gasp for air._

_"__You...you came back." The beast forces a smile onto his face._

_"__Of course I came back." Fingers shakily feather through the soft mane. "I couldn't let them…oh, this is all my fault. If only I had gotten here sooner."_

_"__Maybe…it's better…this way."_

_"__Don't talk like that!" A broken smile. "We'll be alright. We're together now, and everything's going to be fine. You'll see."_

_A rough paw tenderly grazes the soft cheek, one last time. "At least…I got to see you…one last time." It falls to the ground._

_"__No…no!"_

_"__Please…please don't leave me!"_

_Hitching sobs are muffled into the unmoving body._

_"__I love you."_


	10. Chapter 10

_For a moment, nothing changes. The beauty continues sobbing into the beast's huddled form._

_Then shooting sparks of light start to rain down from the sky. Slowly at first, then more and more until they light up the balcony like it's the middle of the day._

_The beast is levitated into the air by some unknown force, with beams shooting out of his limbs. His hands and legs shrink, his fur giving way to tan skin. His shaggy face ripples and gives way to a chiseled face. His body finishes morphing into that of a human, and he is lowered back onto the ground. He awakens and unsteadily gets up. He stares at his now-human hands in disbelief. The beast- no, the prince spins around, his former beastly visage cast aside. He gazes at his true love through human eyes…_

* * *

To realize that Luffy's quietly whimpering, tears streaming down his eyes.

"…Luffy?" For a second, Zoro wonders if his elation had been unfounded.

Luffy bites at his quivering lips. "You're alive."

Zoro's shoulders relax. "So I am."

"YOU IDIOT!"

"Ow!" Zoro inhales sharply, rubbing against his chest where Luffy had mercilessly punched him.

Luffy immediately hovers over him worriedly, "I'm so sorry! Is Zoro ok?! Did I hit your stab wound?"

"No, no; I think that got healed after the sparkly transformation…thing. Your punch is just stronger than I expected."

Luffy lets out a tense breath. He leans his forehead against the quickly-bruising injury.

"Luffy, I'm fine."

"You were dead. I saw you stop breathing."

"Yeah." Zoro hugs him tightly, feeling thin arms circle around his waist. "But Luffy…I'm here now. And I won't leave you ever again."

"You promise?" Luffy tilts his head up slightly, inches away from Zoro's.

"I promise." Zoro brushes his lips against Luffy's. "You're stuck with me for life."

Luffy's smile lights up. He laughs without restraint, laying his head back against Zoro's chest to listen to the newly-beating heart. "For life? I like the sound of that."

* * *

**A/N: This chapter...is so short. Perhaps I shouldn't have made the last one so long. BUT THE STORY IS DONE. Just a little epilogue omake tomorrow.**


	11. Chapter 11: Omake

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for sticking with me during this story! Hope you enjoyed it. If you thought the rest of the story was OOC and crack-y, then just wait till you read this, lololol.**

* * *

As the curtain begins to fall on the story of our two lovestruck simpletons, so does the rest of the world reach its own resolutions.

After an initial meltdown, Perona tasks herself with taking the newly spotless alabaster castle and re-gloomifying it. She spends her days chasing down her servants, her brother, and his new beau to do the heavy lifting.

Gaston does not perish after falling into the ravine. He is washed away by the river and never seen again. Some say he drifted into the Forest of the Okama Fairies.

Eventually, the old inventor finally makes his way to a science fair. When he receives second-place, he sets his woodchopping machine off in a frenzy, destroying the entire fairgrounds. He is subsequently banned from all future competitions.

* * *

As for our main heroes…

Zoro's arms encircle Luffy protectively like a warm scarf. They're leaning against the sofa in the common room and soaking in the warmth of the fireplace, the first area that Perona had forced them to restore.

Luffy sighs regretfully. "If only we'd done this when you were still a swamp monster. It probably would've been super warm and fuzzy."

"Really." Zoro put on the strong, manly equivalent of a pout. "Well excuse me for having a proper human anatomy."

Luffy makes a humming sound through his smile. "It's fine. I like this Zoro too."

And Zoro finds that answer irrationally satisfying, so he just leans down to let his cheek rest against Luffy's messy hair. The fact that Luffy seemed to like Zoro equally in any of his forms, that he had seen something even in Zoro's beastly form that Zoro couldn't recognize in those ten years, was just one of the many reasons that he loved the teen.

The quiet moment is suddenly interrupted when the front door is kicked open.

"WHERE ARE YOU, FOUL BEAST?!" The enchantress, of all people, marches in.

Zoro and Luffy disentangle themselves from the floor, Zoro quickly moving to shield Luffy.

"Who's that?" Luffy asks from behind.

Zoro lets out a familiar growl, which has lost some of its deepness but none of its hostility. "She's the bitch who cast the spell on me in the first place."

"What?!" Luffy feels an unstoppable fury flush through his veins. Despite Zoro's efforts to hold him back, Luffy stomps forward. But before he can say a word, the enchantress sweeps him into a tender embrace.

"My dear Luffy, how you've grown! I'm so relieved to see that disgusting Rufus Shanks has not rubbed off on you. Or Garp, the senile fool. How have you been? Have you missed me? Have you been eating enough? "

Luffy tries to wriggle from the enchantress' hug, his anger quickly morphing into confusion as the enchantress coos slightly at his soft cheeks. "You know my dad?"

"Of course I do. I'm your mother, after all!"

"…EH?!"

"And I'm can see that you've also inherited my gorgeous looks."

"I…" Dumbfounded, Luffy lets himself get squashed a little longer before he notices Zoro sharing his bewilderment. "None of that matters. More importantly, I can't forgive you for making Zoro suffer like that."

"Ah yes. The rude brat who stole off my son."

The enchantress gently lets go of Luffy. She stretches out her hand in the direction of Zoro, whose eyes widen in recognition. Right before she lets loose a beam, Luffy jumps in her path, arms outstretched. Two voices cry out simultaneously.

"NO-"

The beam ricochets off a conveniently-appearing black steel blade, demolishing a nearby wall.

Zoro gapes, his arms having wound themselves desperately around Luffy. "…Mihawk?! I thought you were dead!"

"Evidently not." Mihawk awkwardly pats the air over his daughter, who's wailing by his side. There are inch-long fangs peeking out from his mouth. And his eyes are wine-red.

The enchantress stares haughtily at the interruption. "And who might you be?"

"Mihawk Dracule. Pardon me for my rudeness, but I won't permit an attack within my house. If you would allow me to suck you dry of your blood. I find myself starving."

"You…you disgusting pervert!"

The enchantress jumps toward the vampire, and her high-heeled shoes collide with his sword. The walls start to crumble around them from the sheer air pressure.

Zoro and Luffy fixed their confused stares at each other and share a silent exchange through eyebrow movements.

'I think we should leave, before we get killed in the crossfire.'

'Yeah. And later, you've got some explaining to do.'

'I guess. Though even I don't know what's going on anymore.'

'Me neither. You have anywhere in mind?'

'Spain.'

'Heh. You don't mean…?'

'Damn right. I'm gonna kick Donquixote's ass.'

'Not if I get there first!'

They smirk excitedly. As the first sign of an opportunity, they evade the tumultuous fight and flee out the door.

* * *

And they lived happily ever after.


End file.
